You may be aware that I have been Diane Barnes’ husband for over four decades. I feel very blessed that I love having conversation with her, still love having those conversations, and that communication flows pretty freely between us. Much of the credit for that goes to Diane. I have a huge reservoir of gratitude for the ease and depth of our conversations.
At the same time, I recognize that this is not the case for every couple. In premarital counseling, we talk a great deal about effective communication. In order to give couples a tool to have in hand if the conversation stalls, I share with them “The Four Ds” as a conversation starter, or to deepen the talks.
DELIGHT – What are you delighting in now?
DRAIN – What is draining you now?
DISCOVERY – What have you learned or are you learning now?
DETERMINATION – What are you determined to do?
Could I ask you to think for a moment just about the first one – What are you delighting in? Certainly, as you focus on this today, your answer should not be limited to the context of discussions within a marriage. What are you delighting in now? How we answer that question really says a lot about us.
Here is one suggestion for where our delight could be. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
When it comes to the Lord, there is a lot to delight in:
- Psalm 40:8: “I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”
- Psalm 119:24: “Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.”
- Psalm 119:35: “Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it.”
- Psalm 119:92: “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.”
I pray that your approach to the Lord is vibrant. I pray that you are admiring, valuing, treasuring, desiring and loving the Lord with such authenticity and fervency that his will is your delight, you delight in his testimonies, you delight in following his path, and you recognize that your delight in his word and direction can bring you through any situation.