So, here are 10 Things Your Pastor Probably Won’t Tell You. And they are right, I won’t tell you these things because I never complain about getting to do the greatest work in the world. Nonetheless, there are some truths below. These have been put together by the Vanderbloemen Group. This group consults with churches and all of their consultants have been in the Senior Pastor role. That gives their message added credibility.
Most people have a pretty good idea of what Senior Pastors do… on Sundays. But the reality is, not many truly know all the work that goes into this sacred and difficult calling. We don’t get to see all the behind-the-scenes work that goes into sermon prep or the launch of a new ministry. We don’t know the ins and outs (and hours) of the pastoral care that takes place. Most of us simply don’t know what it takes to lead a church staff.
There are a number of unseen truths that accompany sitting in the pastoral hot seat.
Here are 10 things that your Pastor (probably) won’t tell you:
- Sunday is not the only day that I work.
There are a multitude of responsibilities in a Lead Pastor’s job description that require much more time and hard work than just getting on stage on Sunday. From sermon preparation to wedding ceremonies to staff leadership, Pastors must work during the week and on the weekend.
- I’m on call 24/7.
Not only is it difficult to findrest in this position due to the long workweek, but Senior Pastors could also be called away from their family at a moment’s notice. Their day doesn’t end at 5pm. If a congregant suddenly falls terminally ill, a Pastor is not going to ignore the problem until his or her schedule clears up. A Pastor who is called to care for the people of the church often has to put their personal life on hold to attend to others.
- Marrying and burying people takes an emotional toll on me.
Sometimes a Pastor must bury a longtime friend, or see a couple he counseled and married be torn apart by divorce. Just because Lead Pastors witness these things more often than most doesn’t mean they are not affected by it. This could ultimately lead to emotional distress or burnout for any church leader.
- Being a Pastor can be a lonely position.
Due to the nature of their work, Pastors’ social, emotional, and spiritual worlds are very intertwined. It can be difficult to find someone to relate to outside of church who understands a Pastor’s life, and it can also be really hard to be close friends with people inside the church. There are many things a Pastor can’t talk about or share with others because of confidentiality. There is also sometimes difficulty being a both a Pastor and a friend to staff or elders. For example, in a moral dilemma, you might want the “friend” side to sympathize with you in the situation, but you’d need the “Pastor” side to be able to take wise action.
- I am often judged or criticized.
Pastors are often put on a pedestal with very high expectations from their staff, congregation, and community. They must consider everything they do while at work and outside of work, lest they make a mistake and be a bad example to others. This pressure can be difficult on Senior Pastors, who can sometimes be the subject of the community’s or congregation’s gossip.
- It’s hard to hear constant criticism and varying opinions.
Pastors hear criticism almost every day from congregation members or staff, be it about their preaching style, a topic they addressed, or last Sunday’s message. Pastors work very hard on each sermon and agonize over every message they deliver. Not only is it part oftheir job description, it is also their calling from God to lead and create disciples through preaching. Most Pastors take this criticism with grace, but it certainly can be disheartening to hear criticism on something they worked hard on.
- I struggle with being a workaholic.
As I’ve mentioned, Pastors are on call 24/7, work weekends and weekdays, and are constantly thinking about how they can care for their congregation and maintain vision for the church. Most Senior Pastors also possess the urge and desire to grow their congregation and mission, reaching more and more people for the Kingdom. While it is a high and noble passion, the intertwining of emotional, social, and spiritual worlds makes it even more difficult to “turn off” Pastor mode to focus on family or take time to rest and recharge.
- Sometimes I want to talk about something besides church.
Believe it or not, like most people, Pastors have other interests and hobbies outside of their job! Even if they struggle with constantly working, it is often a relief to be able to talk about fishing, a sports team, or the latest museum exhibit with someone. It is also much easier to foster deep friendships when you have other things in common besides just where you attend church.
- It is challenging for me to keep my identity solely rooted in God and not in the success of the church.
While this challenge of keeping one’s identity in God is not exclusive to Pastors, it does prove very difficult when the basic definition of a Pastor is “one who leads a church.” Again, while the urge to grow the church is a noble one, it can be challenging for pastors to separate their self-worth and the success of the church. Pastors fight a constant battle to keep their identity rooted in Christ.
- I don’t have all the answers.
Surprise! Yes, Pastors went to school to study the Bible and continue to study the Bible for their job. Yes, they pray for wisdom and guidance daily. But at the end of the day, no Pastor is omniscient. They are fellow journeyers with us, following Christ and learning along the way.
If there is any important takeaway from this list, it’s this: Pastors are not perfect. A Lead Pastor is simply a fellow broken human called by God to lead other broken humans with His help.
Indeed being a lead pastor has got to be a daunting pursuit. Walking with God and leading people towards Christ is noble, worthy and sometimes all consuming. Thanks for this post. I would hope all who read it will , at the very least take away the fact that pastors are human beings and struggle with the same kind of problems that the rest of us do. They deserve the utmost respect from their flock and all the help and prayer we can muster. As do their wife and family. Let’s pick it up Christian and get to the mission part of our lives. Love Christ, his church , and the people you meet every day we don’t know how much time we have left.
I have attended your church. It is a New Testament Restoration Movement church. Since when did you pick up the denominational “pastor” title? You are the evangelist/minister. I know this has become popular in recent years BUT it is coming from people who do not know the scriptures OR choose to ignore them. Pastors are the elders of the congregation-shepherds of the flock. They supervise the ministers-not he other way around.
Paul,
I have been friends with several ministers over the years and just having someone to talk to was a plus for them and myself. I still am in contact with them and especially enjoy their vacation stories and family adventures.
In being a caring Senior Pastor, has our Board ever suggested that you may take a Sabbatical?
I copied this from Thom S Rainer:
I have the opportunity to work with lay leaders and pastors. I have a pretty good view of both perspectives. And I am convinced that more lay leaders need to insist their pastors take regular breaks even beyond vacations. Allow me to provide five reasons for my rationale.
A pastor has emotional highs and lows unlike most other vocations. In the course of a day, a pastor can deal with death, deep spiritual issues, great encouragement, petty criticisms, tragedies, illnesses, and celebrations of birth. The emotional roller coaster is draining. Your pastor needs a break—many times a break with no distractions.
A pastor is on 24-hour call. Most pastors don’t have an “off” switch. They go to sleep with the knowledge they could be awakened by a phone call at anytime of the day. Vacations are rarely uninterrupted. It can be an exhausting vocation, and a sabbatical can be a welcome time to slow down.
Pastors need time of uninterrupted study. It doesn’t usually happen in the study at church or home. There is always the crisis or need of the moment. Church members expect sermons that reflect much prayer and study. The pastor’s schedule often works against that ideal. The sabbatical can offer much needed, and uninterrupted, study time.
Pastors who have sabbaticals have longer tenure at churches. Though my information is anecdotal, I do see the trend. And while I cannot prove a cause-and-effect relationship, I feel confident that pastors who have sabbaticals are much more likely to stay at a church because they are less likely to experience burnout.
Pastors who have sabbaticals view the time off as an affirmation from their churches. I have heard from many pastors who share with me a sentence similar to this one: “I know my church loves me because they give me a sabbatical.” Pastors need affirmation. Sabbaticals can accomplish that goal.
These are some of the points you brought up in your article. I found it quite interesting and feel this is something that would be good for you.
My friend Stan Kirkland is on Sabbatical now and a much needed rest for him.
My prayers are with all of the ministers at the church and the leadership as our church is on Mission for the Lord.
Blessing to you and Diane.